I have not historically considered myself to be a particularly anxious person. Have I always carried fear with me in ways I may not even have realized at the time? Absolutely.

But I’ve fought the socialization and expectation to stay small and quiet. Perhaps it’s the extrovert/external processor in me but the impetus to speak, and to speak the truth, has been strong.

These past few years in the pandemic, though, seem to have brought out an anxiety in me that feels superimposed and unwelcome, and I know I’m not the only one.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickJuly 17, 2022#anxiety, #selfknowledge, #trust, #acceptance

Rage

Rage.

Rage for me is a sense of helplessness, of banging my head against a wall, of having arguments in my head with people who are not present.

Rage for me is a kind of insanity internalized from living in a deranged world.

Rage often comes from the kind of systemic gaslighting, the hypocrisy and audacity of trying to pretend that being anti-abortion is about being pro-life. That it is about babies, or some kind of religious or moral high ground, when clearly it is not.

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickJune 26, 2022#abortion, #reproductiverights, #historyComment

The harm of rushing in to fix things

Many of us, especially those who are “professionally” successful, have been trained to be perfectionists, over-achievers, and fixers.

If there is a problem, our immediate reaction is to ask - how do we fix this?

We see this all the time when we do DEI and culture work with organizations. At the end of our initial discovery phase we present our findings, and the desire to react with solutions, actions, next steps, and a resolution is so deeply engrained, it creates a palpable kind of fix-it itchiness in the room.

Inclusive LeadershipAlethea FitzpatrickJune 19, 2022#workplace, #inclusiveworkplace, #workplacecultureComment

What does an equitable and transparent compensation structure look like?

A question that often comes up, especially from our non-profit clients, is on how to retain valuable BIPOC employees so they don’t leave for better paying opportunities elsewhere.

While race and class are not necessarily inextricably intertwined, the history in this country means that a huge racial wealth gap continues to be pervasive, and BIPOC folks, particularly Black people, face inter-generational systemic marginalization that means they are least likely to be able to afford being under-compensated.

What is an organization to do, particular a non-profit where funds might be tight all round?

Committing to DEI as a concept is not the same as committing to it as a practice

In our work at CCI, we hear a lot from organizations who are very earnestly and firmly committed to DEI and racial justice as a concept but are lacking the commitment to it as a practice.

As with any decision, committing to it is only the first step. In fact, it shouldn’t even really be the first step if you don’t actually have any idea what you are committed to DOING.

The right to bear arms

In 1705, a Virginia law was passed requiring masters to provide white male servants whose indentured time was up with 50 acres of land, 30 shillings,10 bushels of corn and a musket.

Whose land were they given? Why was a musket deemed a necessary part of the deal?

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickMay 30, 2022#gunviolence, #whiteprivilege, #whiteviolenceComment

People are not ok

Abortion rights under attack, a formula shortage, covid rates rising again with almost 1 million dead in the US, and this past weekend, another deadly racist massacre by a white supremacist domestic terrorist... all differing outcomes of similar systemic root causes. Knowing it's the system working exactly as designed doesn't make it hit any less hard though.

I’ve been catching up with Brene Brown podcast episodes from the past few months and one thing she keeps saying is “people are not ok.” I appreciate that framing. I don’t think I’m any more or less ok than anyone else. Which is to say that I’m more ok than some and less ok than others.

I think that collectively we are not ok.

Inclusive LeadershipAlethea FitzpatrickMay 15, 2022#surgecapacity, #pandemiclife, #traumainformed, #burnoutComment

The messy middle

The messy middle is… messy.

And it’s uncomfortable.

We’re generally not used to letting things sit unresolved. We are socialized to fix things. We are rewarded for fixing things. But sometimes, rushing in to fix things doesn’t actually fix things. Sometimes it is when we are in urgency or scarcity that we cause the most harm.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickMay 8, 2022#healing, #inclusiveleadership, #messymiddleComment

We are not “the help”

I’ve had this blog post brewing in my head for a while, since before I read Ijeoma Oluo’s piece “We have the right to not be annoyed” where this passage hit home:

Y’all (the white people out of pocket in my comments and DMs) keep thinking that this is all for you.

The books, the talks, the work - all of it is for you. You are sure that I and others who write and speak on race wake up every day and think, “how can I help white people today?” I’m not being facetious. You really do view us, in our anti-racist work and in our very existence, as “the help.”

Oooof, yeah this hit home.

Some wounds are not ours to heal

A friend shared some wisdom a coach had shared with her once - some wounds are not ours to heal.

This stuck with me because for the longest time, I thought ALL wounds were mine to heal.

I’ve become very conscious of how women of color, and especially Black women, are socialized to taken on everyone’s emotional burdens and healing except our own, when really the only wounds that are ours to heal are our own.

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickApril 24, 2022#paternalism, #workplace, #hierarchyComment

Creating a trauma-informed personal safety plan

Trauma is everywhere, both “big T” and “little t” trauma, much of which has been exacerbated these past two years of a global pandemic.

I do believe some of the shifts have also created opportunities for healing. In my experience, the exacerbation of certain trauma means that we have been forced to confront and address it rather than continuing to white knuckle our way through it.

And yet there is still so much unhealed trauma, and new trauma layered daily at the systemic, institutional, interpersonal as well as internalized level.

Part of the work of diversity, equity and inclusion is to heal ourselves so that in our trauma, we are not causing further harm to ourselves or others.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickApril 17, 2022#trauma, #traumainformed, #takefive, #needsComment

Say the thing

We know that feedback can be hard to hear.

It is perhaps one of the hardest things we ask leaders and others who align with power and privilege within their identities and their organizations to do when we do DEI work.

However, it’s the organizations that can work through the tough process of hearing difficult feedback that often make the most progress in shifting workplace culture to better serve their mission. We do a lot of scaffolding so leaders understand that feedback is a gift, even if you don’t like the wrapping paper, that it isn’t personal, that systems of oppression, although they manifest differently, show up in every organization, and that in order to change something, you first have to be able to name it.

The hypocrisy of “violence is never the answer”

White people self-righteously declaring that “violence is never the answer” is… not a good look. The utter hypocrisy when white culture and white American culture was FOUNDED on violence is entirely predictable yet exhausting just the same. The ENTIRE PREMISE of whiteness is violence. Whiteness was created explicitly and purposefully to justify and perpetuate violence.

So yeah.

Internalized oppression: if we can’t see that it’s systemic, we have no choice but to believe it’s personal

Of all the pieces I’ve read about Supreme Court nominee Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson’s confirmation hearings, this article by Elie Mystal hit particularly hard: Ketanji Brown Jackson’s Long Pause Explained Racism and Sexism in America.

The article nails so much, from describing Ted Cruz as “the office manager who never learned how to use PowerPoint” to “the small-minded and condescending white people arrayed against her” on the Senate Judiciary Committee and the experience of watching her being put through “crucible of white approval.”

Oooof.

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickMarch 27, 2022#internalizedoppression, #privilege, #workplace, #stereotypesComment

Create a circle not a ladder

One of the things we talk about a lot in our work with organizations is building a circle not a ladder.

What do we mean by this?

Well, a ladder is a hierarchy. There are people on top and people below. Often, those higher up on the ladder think that DEI work means extending a hand down to those below to help them up the ladder.

Um, no thank you.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickMarch 20, 2022#circlenotladder, #saviorism, #hierarchyComment

Our new website is live!

Our new website is live and we invite you to take a look: http://cocreatinginclusion.com.

It was hard to prioritize working on this because our previous site was working! Potential clients told us they were drawn to us because of it, that we were true to how we described ourselves, and then they hired us and generally proved to be a good fit.

However, it was also based on something created three years ago and while it was still true to who we are, it didn't reflect all of the work and iteration and deepening of our methodology that has happened since then through the work with all of our incredible clients.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickMarch 13, 2022#website, #senseofurgency, #deescalate

The problem with empathy

It’s been a tough week of news out of Ukraine.

I have been trying to take special care and to be aware of the different and perhaps invisible ways that we all might be variously impacted, on top of everything else that is going on. I am noticing my responses, managing my energy, and trying to stay focused on where I can make a difference.

As the days passed though, I’m noticing other things.

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickFebruary 27, 2022#empathy, #grief, #love, #whiteprivilege, #whiteviolenceComment

Deep abiding grief

I’ve been experiencing a huge wave of grief lately.

Some of it is personal, some of it is systemic.

It’s painful, this deep and abiding grief.

The four levels of everything

I have found it incredibly helpful to think of the four levels of oppression as the four levels of everything.

In particular, I’ve found it helpful to think of these levels as the four levels where we can have an impact and create change.

This doesn’t mean we should all necessarily be trying to work all four levels at once, although I do think we should try and consider all four levels at once.

However, one of the things that can be useful to figure out is where we personally are best suited to make the most impact.

Co-creating inclusionAlethea FitzpatrickFebruary 13, 2022#fourlevelsofoppression, #impact, #energized, #inclusiveleadership, #changeComment

It’s not about love

Something that struck me this week is that it is a common belief amongst white people and an underlying default assumption that racism is about hate.

When they say they “don’t have a racist bone in their body” they mean what they also sometimes say which is that their “heart is full of love.” When asked why racism should be eradicated, they say it’s because “everyone deserves to be loved.”

Do white people really think that people of color don’t experience love? That we don’t feel loved? That we experience love less than white people do?

Dismantling oppressionAlethea FitzpatrickFebruary 6, 2022#systemsofoppression, #love, #whiteprivilege, #racism, #howtobeanatiracistComment

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