There is so much magic in creating a space for people to speak and be heard. It’s not always pretty. It’s often uncomfortable. But I find such relief and healing in truth telling… in a world where we are socialized to do anything but.
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Trauma is everywhere, both “big T” and “little t” trauma, much of which has been exacerbated these past two years of a global pandemic.
I do believe some of the shifts have also created opportunities for healing. In my experience, the exacerbation of certain trauma means that we have been forced to confront and address it rather than continuing to white knuckle our way through it.
And yet there is still so much unhealed trauma, and new trauma layered daily at the systemic, institutional, interpersonal as well as internalized level.
Part of the work of diversity, equity and inclusion is to heal ourselves so that in our trauma, we are not causing further harm to ourselves or others.
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White people self-righteously declaring that “violence is never the answer” is… not a good look. The utter hypocrisy when white culture and white American culture was FOUNDED on violence is entirely predictable yet exhausting just the same. The ENTIRE PREMISE of whiteness is violence. Whiteness was created explicitly and purposefully to justify and perpetuate violence.
So yeah.
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It has long been my experience that white women, traumatized by patriarchy, become tools of white supremacy. White women talk about recognizing their privilege but what we also need them to do is recognize their trauma. Hurt people hurt people, and while that isn't an excuse and doesn't let anyone off the hook, it is a dynamic that I believe needs to be unpacked and reckoned with.
White women need to heal their trauma so they can stop causing harm to people of color.
It's not just white women either.
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With Juneteenth now a federal holiday, a decision made on Thursday, the day before the Friday that would mark the holiday (I mean come on now!) many Black folks and others have been expressing mixed feelings about this development.
Unrelated to Juneteenth, our team has been having a lot of conversations lately with white leaders and their BIPOC staff about tokenism, performance, lip service, hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance. There is a HUGE toll to pay when actions and impact are out of alignment with professed values. It is EXHAUSTING.
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As you may know if you've read recent posts on grief and trauma and focusing on needs, trauma has been very much on my mind and in my heart lately. As this tremendously difficult school year starts to come to a close (or has already closed in some parts of the country), as vaccination roll-out starts to include our tweens and teens, and as pandemic restrictions start to lift and companies and organizations are in various stages of considering their reopening plans, you would think that this would be a time of joy and celebration... and it is for some, to varying degrees, but it is also a time where many of us are still processing and coming to terms with what we just went through, and the trauma of it all.
Not to mention that, as I have said before, the fact that DEI work is the work of dismantling the systems that cause oppression and trauma, as well as facilitating healing at an internal, interpersonal, organizational and systemic level has never been more clear to me.
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I'm still in a space where I am thinking a lot about grief and trauma, and not just thinking about it but feeling it myself at a variety of different levels
Maybe the grief of the pandemic is making all the other grief feel closer to the surface and easier to access, but I'm seeing so many layers to my own grief and to the grief of others. In many ways, the work of diversity, equity, and inclusion is the work of holding space for the hurt and harm of white supremacy and other systems of oppression while also figuring out how to create space for healing, recovery, and growth.
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