It is interesting to me how defensiveness functions in an environment where the goal is to shift towards equity and inclusion. Defensiveness is a natural and human reaction, but it often functions in the exact opposite way than we intend and would like.

Perhaps within a hierarchical environment, defensiveness helps us maintain power by shutting down feedback or criticism that feels like an attack. We maintain credibility and trust by being able to shoot down other perspectives, thus proving ourselves to be “right.” In academia, you are expected to literally defend your thesis. It’s a pretty standard format in debate, courts of law, art school critiques and… well, pretty much everything.

Every year at Co-Creating Inclusion, we take the month of August as a break from external meetings and facilitation in order to prioritize our own strategic planning, professional development and self-care. We do the same for the last week of every month (February, April, June, October and December). We also tried to hold Wednesdays and Fridays from 9am-2pm EDT as “slack and meeting free time” although we do make exceptions when needed.

Leaders are often “visionaries” and “change makers” by definition. They have a vision for something that is different than currently exists, and they have the drive to make that vision a reality.

Not every leader is suited to driving change towards equity and inclusion however.

I’ve had this blog post brewing in my head for a while, since before I read Ijeoma Oluo’s piece “We have the right to not be annoyed” where this passage hit home:

Y’all (the white people out of pocket in my comments and DMs) keep thinking that this is all for you.

The books, the talks, the work - all of it is for you. You are sure that I and others who write and speak on race wake up every day and think, “how can I help white people today?” I’m not being facetious. You really do view us, in our anti-racist work and in our very existence, as “the help.”

Oooof, yeah this hit home.

Trauma is everywhere, both “big T” and “little t” trauma, much of which has been exacerbated these past two years of a global pandemic.

I do believe some of the shifts have also created opportunities for healing. In my experience, the exacerbation of certain trauma means that we have been forced to confront and address it rather than continuing to white knuckle our way through it.

And yet there is still so much unhealed trauma, and new trauma layered daily at the systemic, institutional, interpersonal as well as internalized level.

Part of the work of diversity, equity and inclusion is to heal ourselves so that in our trauma, we are not causing further harm to ourselves or others.

When I first started doing DEI consulting, I have to say I didn’t expect that so much of what we do would be about opening up spaces so our clients can gather feedback from across their staff.

However, it has proven to be one of the most valuable aspects of our work.

What we’ve realized is that we are hired to uncover the truths that may be painful for organizations to hear but that have the potential to be transformative if only they are open to it.

I won’t lie - I’m tired, although it comes in waves, and it’s hard to know if its from covid or just... all this. Burnout is coming up with some of our clients too, especially those on the frontlines of putting DEI to practice in their organizations. The work is tiring, and it can be hard to pinpoint what exactly is exhausting us the most.

I think, to some extent, it doesn’t really matter, or if you need an answer but can’t figure it out, it is probably all of the above. Figuring out the source can be helpful, but only to a degree, because what if we can’t change the source?